I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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