thus making me awesome and them whores
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
