I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
