First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize