You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize