i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
