I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize