Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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