After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
