I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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