1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
