Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
