I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
