Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
