I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
