So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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