I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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