I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
do nipples grow back?
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