So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
