very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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