Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
