How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
