Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
