it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
