What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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