Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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