Me too!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize