Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize