Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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