Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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