i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
