god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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