Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
