pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
