Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
