If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize