His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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