Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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