Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
