so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
