hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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