Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
