the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
