its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
