We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
