he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
