He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
