I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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