yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
