Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
