We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
