im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i think im in europe. pls send help
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
