dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize