we have pet lesbian snakes
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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