we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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