Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
