Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
