you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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