are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
