You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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