my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
