I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
