Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
