just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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